she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
