Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
