We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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