We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
