Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
