booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
mondays should just be called national damage control day
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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