Plan B is the new Plan A
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
