So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
