The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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