I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
