But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
