no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
