How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
