My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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