Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
