I saw his package. It spoke to me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
