I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
