I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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