Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
