she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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