So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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