I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I understand Curling. That high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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