I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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