I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
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