we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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