i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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