The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
