Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize