Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
