She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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