What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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