My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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