y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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