problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
