they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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