On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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