As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
