Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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