roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
