i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
