Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
