please come you make the beer taste better
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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