I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
