Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize