rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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