Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
