but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
