but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
