it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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