You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
