So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
