Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
