I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
