he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Four minutes until I can fart!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize