youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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