if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ttyl tear gas
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
