we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
