Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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