so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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