I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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