Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
